My kitten tried to kill my stuffed tribble. My roommate remarked that my tribble killing cat would make a great Klingon pet… and she’s right.
Imagine a Klingon ship having a cat that protects them from tribbles & vermin. They have to get the cat from a shelter run by humans and they’re like “This is the honorable Mr. Chonks”.
“Yes, our ship also has an earth feline. Her name is Carrot and she fights like a warrior.”
There’s absolutely a Klingon out there who lost an eye to a feral cat that he then adopted.
Klingons who go “pspspspsps” to get the Ship Cat to come hang out during break.
Orange Ship Cat that gets lost in the jeffires tubes and Klingon whose sole job is to go fetch the orange cat. He acts like he hates his job but he actually really adores his feline co-worker so much.
Klingon that always hands things to the Ship Cat so it can sniff it.
Klingon that intentionally grabs boxes to enrich Ship Cat’s little life. Sometimes they get multiple boxes and the crew bets on which box will be deemed “best box” by their fluffy little warrior.
Klingon that starts his work shift saying “Qapla’!” to Ship Cat who meows in return.
Newly Minted Ship Kitten climbing up to a Klingon Captain’s shoulder with her tiny needle claws while said Captain is attempting to be intimidating on the viewscreen.
Klingon who gets a head bunt from Ship Cat and gives it a head bunt back.
In case you missed the stream - here s an early brief recap and some highlights of the Josh Fight Battle Royale 2021 aka Josh Swain Battle aka Josh vs Josh vs Josh vs Josh vs Josh…
yes it did, in fact, happen. i know, holy shit. the Fight took place on April 24th, 2021 A.D. at 12:00 PM local time at Air Park Green Area, 4500 NW 45th St, Lincoln, NE, 68524.
a lot of people came.
the plan was the following: first the Swainbowl to decide on who gets to keep the name of The Josh Swain, the one and only; then followed by the All Josh Fight to determine the Final Josh. the joshes and others were asked to bring pool noodles. Josh Swain’s Josh Battle Royale was declared a non violent event aside from the upcoming bureaucratic horrors of legal name changes.
notable attendees:
(the og josh swain (as of yet) wearing a josh swain t-shirt; roman josh; joshua skywalker; my personal favourite: josh wick duel wielding a pair of drills with pool noodles attached; spiderman josh and spiderman josh jr.; an undisclosed number of ghillie suit joshes; cape josh; little josh; and many others)
+ genuine professional media coverage!! journalists from channel 8 and channel nebraska were present at the joshpit
cheerleaders, supportive bystanders and other josh-lovers:
the fights:
josh on josh violence part 1:
only one other josh swain attended. in a brutal 4-round game of rock-paper-scissors the og josh swain managed to defend his name and pride. Select_Name (formerly josh swain) was removed from the battlefield
josh on josh violence part 2:
hail the chaos!! hail the bloodshed!! several dozens of bloodthirsty joshes came together in the final battle for the title of Ultimate Josh. only one can win, only one can remain. every josh for himself.
the coronation:
so?? who is he?? the josh who truly earned his name??
happy unjoshening to every former josh and all hail the king of josh: The Little Josh. a few words of wisdom spoken after the coronation:
other notable additions:
the josh sewer aka the pit for the defeated:
Let it be known, by all men in the state on Nebraska and around the World, that on this field in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty one, a gentleman named Josh Swain defended his birth name heroically againist inferior men who bore that same moniker and against too cowardly to attend the said battle. Below are those who bore witness to it.
the fundraiser:
the “Help pay legal fees for Josh Swain’s to change their name” fund organized by the og josh swain has raised more than $8k as of now and will be accepting donations for the next five days (till april 30) in case you would like to contribute. all proceeds go to the Children’s Hospital & Medical Center Foundation which provides medical care to children across the state of Nebraska.
Still thinking about the Josh Fight. Don’t let this be forgotten
I know we’re all tired of the “man proudly holding fish he caught” genre of profile picture on dating apps & sites, but I think we’re just going to have to accept that fishbros aren’t going to stop because they’ve been doing it for millennia
Yes, but whatever happened to the ‘holding fish he just caught, while heroically nude? You’d think that dating sites would be all about heroic nudity, but noooooo….
I feel like there’s an argument that shirtless pics are the modern version of heroic nudity, adjusted for our stronger nudity taboo.
